do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
