that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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