My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
