I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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