dude i'm inner monologue high
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
