last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize