everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Randomize
