You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
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