I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Randomize
