Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
