i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
