My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
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