dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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