I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Randomize
