we're blogging at a bar
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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