My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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