there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Lo siento on account of my penis...
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
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