I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
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