the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Randomize
