I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
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