wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
Randomize
