Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
