Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
