I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize
