She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
