sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
just tell him i said nine months
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Randomize
