Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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