just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
