he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
tequila makes me forget i have legs
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
