I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
