well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
