I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
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