I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Randomize