I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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