the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Randomize
