I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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