And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Randomize
