Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
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