On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
