haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Randomize
