READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
