Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
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