I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize