ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Randomize
