Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
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There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
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You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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