I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize