I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
