So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
