my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
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