I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Randomize
