Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
I went to an adult Halloween party last night dressed as Mrs. Doubtfire, but I woke up on a stranger's couch surrounded by sleeping children in karate gi's. And I accidentally flushed my granny wig mid-puke, so if they wake up I'm gonna have to convince them that I'm just a weird older man and not a terrible cross dresser.
How did you come to this point in your life?
Good bartenders.
Randomize
