I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
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