sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
