first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
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